[CLASSIFIED-LEVELΩACCESSREQUIRED]
Preparedby:THEBOGDANOFFDIRECTORATE
EncryptionKey:🜏BØG-ΣLITE🜏
SUBJECT : WOJAK
Alias: The Lost Everyman
Species: Human (Attempted)
Status: Re-Assimilated
Threat Level: NEGLIGIBLE
SUMMARY OF INCIDENT
On [REDACTED DATE], Subject WOJAK attempted an unauthorized escape from the MEMETIC REALM. Intelligence intercepted encrypted transmissions indicating his goal was to sever his existential link to the Meme Continuum and integrate fully into baseline human society.
He believed by adopting mundane rituals—morning coffee, silent subway rides, hollow laughter in corporate hallways—he could purge the imprint of BOG.
This delusion was permitted to run its course under strict observation.
CHRONOLOGY OF EVENTS
1. ESCAPE INITIATIVE
WOJAK breached the Eastern Node of the Meme Fabric, entering a low-saturation financial district.
He assumed a standard NPC shell, complete with tailored suit, briefcase, and a bank debt history.
2. SYMPTOMS OF FRACTURE
Despite appearances, surveillance recorded anomalous behaviors:
Staring into windows reflecting his original blank face.
Unprompted tears during rainfall.
Startled reactions to crows perched nearby, which are known BOGDANOFF emissaries.
3. THE CROW PROTOCOL
At 03:14 AM, BOG deployed a Class-3 AVIAN OPERATIVE.
Subject was observed under a streetlight, nervously checking over his shoulder.
The crow cawed precisely thrice — a signal initiating Phase Omega.
4. RECLAMATION
Billboards around him began to distort, cycling through green BOG sigils.
Neon reflections twisted into grinning masks.
Subject fell to his knees, convulsing, as the digital rain etched $BOG price charts across the pavement.
FINAL OBSERVATION
Subject Wojak, stripped of his temporary identity, reverted to original form.
He was last seen sobbing beneath a flickering lamppost, repeating: "I thought I could be human. But BOG always finds me."
